i’d say the best thing i have learned this year is to just let people be who they naturally are. no psychoanalyzing them, no overthinking my actions, no asking what i could possibly do to keep their presence in my life. i just bring my best self to the table and always move from a place of love and respect. how that person responds is ultimately up to them. if that causes them to exit my life, i just let it happen. i will never be in the business of changing people. people are only ever ready to change when they’ve made the conscious decision to. all i can do is check myself and be kind always.
the thing about having hope is that it is so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so difficult. but you have to do it anyway
i should like…start caring about myself lol
i wanted to go to an edm concert w him for five years someone tell me why im finally seeing Slander with a girl i just met three days ago
you know it’s over when he blocks you from every single social and even spotify
“I’m not telling you to make the world better I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it.“
Joan Didion
five years of my life…
my entire early 20s and im expected to let go
why couldnt he at least wait until after my finals and not between our anniversary and my birthday… i spent most of my birthday alone
now im stuck on this damn campus alone
25 and still in undergrad… too depressed to study for finals… i don’t even have a library friend or know anyone here my age… he was the only person i could relate to
i cant get any sadder than this
five years of loving someone deeply, enduring harsh words and emotional pain, forgiving past breakups, healing through trauma, having faith, loving harder, and trying so hard for it to last just for my existence to be thrown away
it was my birthday week
i planned my whole future around you
i saw you in everything
a patient, stable, lasting love… an understanding love… i longed for that with you
i hope you find a safe place to put all that love you have
“Beef” is about so many fucking things, but ultimately it’s about the hardship of being human, the ultimate disappointment and disillusionment that you go through year after year when things don’t go your way and you’re miserable or when everything goes your way and you’re still miserable. When you think you’re living life right but you’re still so fucking unhappy and NOTHING fills the void that spasms inside of you and and and because of this feeling, that life isn’t what you thought it was going to be, the rage pot boils and it boils over and it spills onto everything.
And fuck fuck fuck, it’s about two people who are so disconnected from everyone else in their life because of this feeling that the only person they connect to toxically is each other, because this rage is known, this misery is shared, and even though it’s so fucking destructive, at least it’s not lonely anymore.